Birthday Sassiness and all it entails.

It’s my birthday!  And in my own words, that gives me liberty to be sassy.  This is what I tell everyone when it’s their birthday so I think naturally it applies to me too.  I’ve had a really great couple of days.  Yesterday Andrew took me on a scavenger hunt/memory date to some of the monumental places in our relationship.  We went everywhere from Woodland Junior High to my old house on Rom Orchard Road in Fayetteville.  Upon the arrival at each destination He gave me an envelope telling me about some of the great memories we had at each spot.  I’ll share some of them with you.  

1.    Our first destination-Woodland Junior High.  This is where Andrew first noticed me and to quote him, he “yearbook stalked” me. In this letter he also reminded me of my Sadie Hawkins day experience in 9^th grade.  To start, my entire family, that is my mom, dad, and sister who was four at the time went to pick up my date.  We had one of those awesome Quest minivans at the time.  It had one of those T.V.s in it that played movies.  We had Barney on that night.  So when my date hops in the car, probably completely mortified that my entire family is with me, instead of sitting in the very back seat with me he sits next to my sister in the middle seat where there were only two spots.  So I sat in the back by myself while my date sat next to my four year old sister and watched a Barney video.  Classic.  I think I might repeat this same experience for my children when they get to the appropriate age.  Good times. 

2.       Next was Fayetteville High school.  There were some definite monumental memories here, but one of my favorites was the time I tackled Andrew in the choir room.  And yes it was a complete and total flat liner!  He went all the way to his stomach.  See we hadn’t been dating very long and Andrew is really really smart and we got back our PSAT scores one day and he was trying to look at what score I got and it was awful and panic came over me.  I saw from across the room him slowly unfolding the tri-folded piece of paper and it was like everything switched to slow motion.  Can’t you just picture it?  Nooooooooo in the Darth Vader type voice as I run over and close line him from behind.  Success!  He didn’t see it.  He still doesn’t know to this day what I got on that test.  Mostly because I don’t remember.  He told me this was the first time he thought to himself, “Wow.  I could marry this girl.”  What a keeper.  Most guys would’ve been intimidated by my oh so strong tackling abilities, but not this guy.  

3.        We went a few more places here and there and we ended up at my old apartment, the Crownes off of Razorback Road.  We talked about all the fun times we had with my roommates and the great after party that took place there after we got engaged.  Fun times. After being with Andrew nearly 7 years now I can honestly say that there is not a man in the world I would rather be spending my life with than Andrew Brewer!  He is the epitome of a servant and a man of intense integrity and honesty.  He is one of those rare men that have such a goodness and integrity about them.  And I don’t credit this goodness to Andrew alone, his parents and more importantly the God of the universe had a hand in this. His heart for Jesus and people is evident to everyone who has ever hung out with him for more than a day.  He is one of the biggest dreamers I have ever met and has challenged me more than any human being ever has.  Just wanted to brag a little on you Andrew!  Thanks for an amazing birthday. 

The walk of death that changed everything.

I have to keep walking.  My body wages war against my spirit, yet the cry of my inner being beckons me that this is the only way, the only will of my Father. This single cry within me is what drives my fragile feet to take the seemingly endless amount of steps to the place where eternity will forever be changed, where what has been will be no more, and where what is present now will be altered forever:  the heavens above, the earth, and all that lies below the earth.  The splinters from the wooden cross ferociously dig into my frail and weak skin as I am torn between the sounds of the soldiers’ loud accusations against me and the voice within me that so gently whispers, “You are my son, with whom I am well pleased. My will be done.”  Closer and closer I see and sense the time approaching.  After an endless array of mockery, beatings, and an utterly tumultuous walk to the final destination, I arrive.   As the nails pierce my hands and feet, I am also pierced with another weight that is not a weight I have known before.  I hear them saying, “Save yourself if you’re really the King of the Jews.”  Oh Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they speak or do.  Forgive them.  My vision becomes blurry for the sharp and ever increasing sting of the nails and beatings.  I look to the heavens and feel that the weight that came upon me as the nails pierced my hands has filled me to its full measure.  The voice that whispered so tenderly to me as I walked to this place is now no more.  I am utterly and completely forsaken by the Father.  I have become the sin of the world.  “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?  Desperation and suffocation fills me.  And with this, I know that it is time, it is time to breathe my last, time to change eternity.  “Father, I commit my spirit unto you.” 

I am literally in tears as I am writing this.  I felt like God said, I want you to go back with me and see a tiny picture of what I went through to get to you, a tiny morsel of my suffering and my devotion to you.  It’s not something I hang over your head like someone who gives a gift and expects a thank you in return, no.  This is unmerited grace, Jayne.  You never have deserved it or earned it, but I, the Lord your God, wanted you and was and am willing to take desperate measures to get to my beloveds.  That’s what it’s about.  I am not an evil dictator demanding your devotion.  I am and will remain King of the earth and the heavens and everything below the earth even if you do not choose me, but I will chase after you and all my children relentlessly until the end of your days on earth because I desire you.  “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you in with loving kindness.”  (Jer. 3:31). Many times in my life I’ve felt guilty that God had to die for my sins.   I felt like I shouldn’t have screwed up so much and then He wouldn’t have had to suffer.  But I’ve missed the point completely if that is my mindset!  First of all, guilt is never, and yes I repeat, NEVER from God.  Guilt has an accusing voice and my God is not an accuser.  Satan is though and boy howdy he can accuse with the best of them.  Guilt paralyzes us in the midst of our sins and creates a worldly sorrow, an inwardly focused sorrow.  Conviction is from God though, and that leads to true repentance and Godly sorrow, a sorrow that looks upon the one who has covered all my sins and desires to move me to a place of holiness.  Second of all, because of good old Adam and Eve, I have sinned since the day I was born.  Everyone has. It’s the curse that will continually be passed down to everyone who is a human being until the day that Christ returns.  But Christ is bigger than the curse and bigger than my sins!  Praise!  Although nothing physically changed the day that Christ died and was resurrected, everything changed in the spiritual realm.  The keys that Adam and Eve gave over to Satan when they chose to disobey God and eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil were rightfully handed back over to the one who made the keys in the first place.  “At the name of Jesus, every knee will bow.”  He’s not mad at me because of my sin nature.  He wants to redeem me from it though.  He wants me back.  He’s saw the mess we got ourselves in and gave us a way back to Him, not because He needs me or any of us, but because He wants us!  What good news is this!   He wants to woo us, He wants to show His glory and make His glory made known in us and through us!  Whew!  I’m having some Holy Spirit chills, aren’t you?  So, if you’ve been in the spot I have and feel guilty because Jesus died for you, take that thought captive.  1.  That’s not from God and shouldn’t be dwelt upon.  2.  He was crucified because it was the will of the Father and the Father’s will has always been about His glory and the biggest way to make His glory known is for us to just be with Him,  being in constant fellowship and communion with the living God.  Look at the original design in the garden.  Adam and Eve took walks and had sweet and intimate time with the Father in the garden.  Thank you, Abba for winning us back to you so that you could be made known and be seen through all the earth.    

Earth day, sinus infections, and opera.

I can’t figure out when Earth Day is supposed to be celebrated.  The calendar says it’s supposed to be on Friday, but since it is good Friday we’re observing it today or something like that?  I’m so confused.  I love Earth day and even have a rockin’ shirt I got from preschool that I was planning on wearing to celebrate.  Oh well.  I’ll ride a bike and throw a few plastic cans in my parents recycling bin to celebrate, since we don’t have one in our apartment.   And now that I think of it I’m pretty sure my bike is still chained to the stairs at our old apartment and has a rusted chain, so on second thought, I may just take a walk or something.  

So enough about the earth, let me fill you in on life the past couple of weeks.  We are moving to Denver in 38 days!  Wahoo!  And as my husband posted on facebook this morning, it is definitely a bittersweet feeling.  I’ve cried quite a bit lately thinking about how much I’m going to miss everything here, especially my family and the wonderful community we have here.  It’s hard, but I really feel like it’s what we’re supposed to do.  Still no jobs, but we are taking a short trip out there the 7-11 of May to get housing lined up and hand out our resumes to any and every company we can find. 

I’ve been fighting some kind of sinus infection or something the past two weeks.  I thought I was pretty much over it, but I woke up at 4 this morning with my lymph nodes being the size of grapefruits.  It hurts to walk and especially talk.  Lucky for you I can still type.  I don’t want to say that I “hate” being sick because I don’t like the word hate, but by golly there’s not much else that makes me more frustrated!  I’ve had to cancel so many lessons with my students, lay on the couch that has a huge bar that makes my rear have a bruise and pretty much inhibit me from doing everything I need to do.  So, prayers for healing are appreciated! 

Andrew and I have been blessed to get to spend a lot of good quality time together lately.  It’s such a blessing because our schedules have been so hit and miss pretty much our entire marriage.  We had a date last week that was oh so fun.  We had sushi, went bowling, and watched the Office.  Doesn’t get much better!  Nothing too eventful happened at dinner, but the bowling alley was a different story.  I think every high school or junior high kid in the radius of a 100 miles were there.  What was especially bothersome though, was the fact that I saw a girl who looked like my sister’s age (12 that is) who I guess was dating, or more like groping a guy who had a five inch beard and looked like he could be my Dad’s age.  And no, it wasn’t her Dad.  Ick.  I wanted to go give them both a good ear full, but I decided not to.  After bowling we stopped at a gas station to get a snickers ice cream bar and a hostess cupcake pack.  Quality, I know.  On the way back to our apartment I was telling Andrew how I sometimes missed singing opera.  I started singing one of the songs I sang in college and as I looked to my right while I was singing my heart and soul out was an African American man in a Lincoln Oldsmobile with spinners giving me a, “what a cracker,” look.  Oh, and he had a pit-bull in the front seat.  Not kidding.  I didn’t realize we had the windows down.   Hilarity abounded. 

John Piper on Signs and Wonders

Greetings, all!  It’s been awhile since my last post and awhile since I’ve written about any theological talk.  So I’m posting an article by John Piper, a Baptist, Bible believing Calvanist that really surprised me.  It’s his interpretation on signs and wonders and their place in today’s world.  I pretty much agree with every word he says regarding the subject. It’s been a big blessing and challenge to me.  Thanks Jesus that you still desire to reveal your glory through signs and wonders! It’s kind of long, but well worth the read. Here goes:  



In the previous section I argued that "signs and wonders" in the New Testament were not the prerogative of apostles only. The "seventy" performed them (Luke 10:9,17), deacons performed them (Acts 6:8; 8:6), Galatian Christians performed them (Galatians 3:5), Corinthian Christians performed them (1 Corinthians 12:9-10). Since signs and wonders were not the prerogative of the apostles, there is no New Testament warrant for inferring that these miracles were to cease after the apostolic age. In fact, I want to argue in this section that the New Testament teaches that spiritual gifts (including the more obviously supernatural or revelatory ones like prophecy and tongues) will continue until Jesus comes. The use of such gifts (miracles, faith, healings, prophecy, etc) give rise to what may sometimes be called "signs and wonders." Therefore signs and wonders are part of the blessing we should pray for today. There is no text in the New Testament that teaches the cessation of these gifts. But more important than this silence is the text that explicitly teaches their continuance until Jesus comes, namely, 1 Corinthians 13:8-12. 
The main point of this passage is that love is superior to spiritual gifts like "prophecies" and "tongues" and "knowledge". The basic argument for the superiority of love is that it lasts forever while these gifts do not. They cease "when the perfect comes," but love goes on forever. The reason given for why these gifts cease is that they are "imperfect". But when the "perfect" comes the imperfect will pass away. So the key question is: When does the "perfect" come which marks the end of the imperfect gifts like prophecy? The answer is plain in the text if we follow Paul's line of reasoning. Verse 8 says, "Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away" (RSV). Why are these gifts temporary? The answer is given in verse 9: "For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect." So the reason these spiritual gifts are temporary is their incompleteness or imperfection. 

How long then are they to last? Verse 10 gives the answer: "When the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away." But when is that? When does the perfect come? The answer is given in verse 12: "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood." The "now" of incompleteness and imperfection is contrasted with the "then" of seeing face to face and understanding even as we are understood. So the answer to the question of when the perfect comes and when the imperfect gifts pass away is the "then" of verse 12, namely, the time of seeing "face to face" and "understanding as we are understood." When will this happen? Both of these phrases ("seeing face to face" and "understanding as we have been understood") are stretched beyond the breaking point if we say that they refer to the closing of the New Testament canon or the close of the apostolic age. Rather, they refer to our experience at the second coming of Jesus. Then "we shall see him as he is" (1 John 3:2) The phrase "face to face" in the Greek Old Testament refers to seeing God personally (Genesis 32:30; Judges 6:22). 

Now add to this conclusion the forthright command in 1 Corinthians 14:1, and you will see why some of us are not only open to, but also seeking, this greater fullness of God's power today. This command says, "Make love your aim, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy." And it is repeated twice: "Earnestly desire the higher gifts" (12:31); "Earnestly desire to prophesy and do not forbid speaking in tongues" (14:39).

I wonder how many of us have said for years that we are open to God's moving in spiritual gifts, but have been disobedient to this command to earnestly desire them, especially prophecy? I would ask all of us: are we so sure of our hermeneutical procedure for diminishing the gifts that we would risk walking in disobedience to a plain command of Scripture? "Earnestly desire spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy." I have come to the point of seeing that the risk lies in the other direction. It would be a risk not to seek spiritual gifts for myself and my church. It would be a risk not to pray with the early church, "Grant your servants to speak your word with boldness while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through your holy servant Jesus." Disobedience is always a greater risk than obedience. Much of my experience disinclines me to "earnestly desire spiritual gifts" especially the gift of prophecy. However, I do not base my prayer for such spiritual empowering on experience, but on the Bible. The Scripture is sufficient for all circumstances by teaching us the means of grace to be used in all circumstances. 

And I agree with Martyn Lloyd-Jones that one of the means of grace needed in our day is the extraordinary demonstration of power by signs and wonders. Here is what he said:

What is needed is some mighty demonstration of the power of God, some enactment of the Almighty, that will compel people to pay attention, and to look, and to listen. . . . When God acts, he can do more in a minute than man with his organizing can do in fifty years. (Revival, pp. 121-122) Lloyd-Jones calls this mighty demonstration of power a fresh baptism in the Holy Spirit and he relates it directly to spiritual gifts. The special purpose . . . of the baptism with the Holy Spirit is to enable us to witness, to bear testimony, and one of the ways in which that happens is through the giving of spiritual gifts. (The Sovereign Spirit, p. 120) 

By the use of these gifts, he sees the possibility of "compelling people to pay attention" in their speed to destruction. By this, the gospel could receive fresh authentication in our day as in the days of the apostles.

Knees, swimming, and criss cross applesauce (indian style)

Pain, pain, pain.  This has been the life story of my knees lately.  It hurts to even sit indian style....er I mean criss cross apple sauce if I want to be politically correct.  If you ask me, I think the Indians are probably honored that we named a sitting pose after them.  Anyways, it hurts to sit with my legs crossed.  This is quite a problem considering I work at a pre-school and am on the floor quite a bit of the day.  I've been sitting with my legs stretched out kind of sneakily behind the circle so hopefully none of my kids will notice.  So far so good!  They're pretty smart though, we'll see how long I can try to hide.

I think all the years of wearing and tearing my knees with gynmastics, cheerleading, and in the past three years, running, my knees have about had it.  I decided to turn my running shoes in and trade them for some goggles and try swimming!  I haven't actually gotten the goggles yet, but I sure plan to.  I've only been swimming twice so far, but I love it!  The only bad experience I've had was yesterday when I almost ran into the wall doing some back strokes.  I need to work on keeping myself in a straight line needless to say. For anyone who loathes running, but really wants to exercise, I highly recommend swimming.  I'm going to try not to overdo it though.  I love those women who compete in the olympics and all and I'm sure they have great hearts, but they sure do have some broad shoulders.  No thanks.  That's all for now.... Have a blessed day!