Tired...

I’m tired today: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  How can an apartment get so dirty in just a few hours?  We have community group tonight and I still have so much to do.  It’s the kind of day you want to just watch “The Office” a good chunk of the day so maybe everything you need to get done won’t seem as serious or daunting.  That’s not going to happen today though.  Michael, Pam, Jim, and Dwight will have to wait till tomorrow. 

My heart is also really burdened for a lot of people around me.  It’s so hard not to have my own agenda with hurting people.  I find myself constantly saying to Jesus, “What do you want me to do?”  His response lately has been, “pray.”  Bahhh!  It’s so hard not to play the Holy Spirit and just pray for people.  I think because I am so caught up in fixing people and wanting to get them to a good place, Jesus just wants me to pray right now.  I’m not saying he can’t work through all that stuff and use me to speak truth, I think this time is just a real big season of learning to pray for people. 

I’ve also been struggling with this pull of finding a job outside of ministry vs. a ministry job.  Honestly, I really just want my job to be ministry.  And I feel a real call to it.  I don’t think anyone should be in ministry if Jesus hasn’t called them there.  Just like God chose the Levitical priests to their positions of work, so God calls certain people of His into ministry as a profession.  Since we’re not plugged into a church in Colorado though, the chance of getting to do ministry as a profession right away isn’t looking promising.  However, I know if God wants Andrew and I there He’ll bring us to that.  Until then, I may be working as one of those people who dress up in a gorilla costume on the side of the road holding up a signs saying, “get your haircut here!”   Just kidding…maybe.   Keep praying for us!